


To Be Alone With You

by cemetrygates



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: ??? lowkey, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Eiji is WHIPPED, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Light Mention Of Past Abuse, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Protective Ash Lynx, Romantic Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Soft Kisses, Soft Okumura Eiji, They Look After Each Other, They’re soulmates, they’re so in love, thinking about their future together :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24000391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cemetrygates/pseuds/cemetrygates
Summary: ”Ash was such an untamed boy to the public, danger in his eyes and fire in his heart, and yet how quick he was to simmer in Eiji’s presence. There was nothing on this Earth that burned Eiji like witnessing it.”Eiji is constantly thinking about how lucky he is to have Ash, and the strange and beautiful nature of their relationship. On this particular night, these thoughts turn into lots of cuddles and softness with his love. <3
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 12
Kudos: 188





	To Be Alone With You

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically what I wish happened in episode 18 after their conversation about visiting Japan. You can listen to To Be Alone With You by Sufjan Stevens for the vibes, it helped me with inspiration for this!

The muffled sound of the New York traffic below him was a constant reminder to Eiji that he was no longer in Japan. Even here, wrapped up in bed with his eyes shut, he could never quite escape the reality of this incredibly odd situation which had somehow become his norm. There was always something to remind him that he was in America; it was inescapable.

What a strange country it was.

He thought he would become numb to the differences, especially with him spending all of his time in the apartment recently, but he was very wrong. He was always reminded like this: hearing the buzz of the city storeys down, or the snippets of conversation in English around him. Sometimes it was simply the anxiety of the danger he was in pressing down on him at all times in the back of his mind, an itch he could never quite scratch.  
It never really left him.

Recently, however, there was one word that had become the main focus of his overthinking habits.

“Forever.”

That’s how long Ash wanted him to stay. _Forever_. His heart ached just thinking about his voice when he said it; broken and soft and beautiful. His thin body sprawled over his lap, radiant blonde hair a mess over his legs.

He was in love with him.

It hadn’t taken Eiji long to know this, but it took him a hell of a lot longer to admit it to himself.  
Ash wasn’t the type of boy that Eiji ever imagined himself with.  
He was the type of boy Eiji would admire from afar, heart speeding up whenever his green eyes met with his own, but never getting much further than that.  
He was so… _beautiful_.  
And yet, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Ash felt the same way. It was hard to believe really, and Eiji didn’t think he had properly processed it yet, but he knew it was true.

Despite Ash being such a dreamlike creature, it felt so right for them to be together. His presence was calming. It was divine. It washed away all fear of the violence and death around them and replaced it with a sense of peace so overwhelming that Eiji couldn’t even consider the idea that him and Ash were ever meant to part. It didn’t matter how many times he would see Ash with a gun, he would never feel any differently towards him. He would never see him as terrifying, or a monster, or any of those other things he called himself. All of those words hurt Eiji terribly, because he knew how untrue they were. Ash was everything beautiful in the world. But he was right about one thing: _forever_.

Eiji dreamed of a life where this chaos didn’t surround their peace. Where they could be normal teenage boys. Where Ash could be happy and free and would never have to think about other men’s hands on him or his friends being murdered or whatever the hell Banana Fish was. Where they could have only one bed in this room they shared.

Eiji sighed and opened his eyes, letting his vision adjust to the darkness. He knew he wouldn’t get much sleep tonight with his mind on Ash like this. He lay for a second before shifting onto his side to face Ash’s bed, wanting to gaze at him for a while, but he was instead met with Ash’s tired green eyes looking back at him. His heart leaped, but he soon couldn’t help but return Ash’s lazy, warm smile when he saw how bright his heavy eyes were when they locked with his.

“You should be asleep, Eiji.”

Eiji couldn’t help but notice how hoarse and deep his voice got at night, and how it almost mimicked the way he spoke to his gang members in some strange way. But when he spoke to Eiji, it was never with the harshness he would use to tell off the others.

He knew they all noticed how differently Ash treated him; forgiving every mistake with a chuckle and a smile, allowing Eiji to calm his nerves when he got riled up or to wake him up after a nap without making a fuss. It embarrassed him a little. Not that he minded them all knowing, or at least suspecting, what was happening between them, but it felt so _intimate_ for Ash to show the vulnerable side of himself that he saved for Eiji. Ash was such an untamed boy to the public, danger in his eyes and fire in his heart, and yet how quick he was to simmer in Eiji’s presence. There was nothing on this Earth that burned Eiji like witnessing it.

“You’re being quiet tonight then?”  
Ash’s voice took him out of his thoughts.  
“I’ve just been worrying about you. You’ve been working constantly. You must be so drained.”  
“Ah, well, it has to be done.” Ash rolled onto his back and let out a deep breath.  
“Shouldn’t you at least take a break?”  
“I’ll rest when it’s over. I have to protect you.”  
There was silence for a moment before he added, “and then we can start thinking about Japan.”  
His head turned to smile at Eiji again, whose face had lit up. They had spoken about Eiji’s home country earlier, and Ash had finally agreed to travel there with him. It was another glimmer of hope to remind him of life outside the walls of the apartment, of the _forever_ that they had promised each other.  
“We’ll be safe there. And you won’t have to think about Dino or any of the others ever again.”  
He knew Ash didn’t mind speaking about Dino, but he still felt bad after bringing him up. It was something he would never fully understand, after all, and he was very aware of that. The trauma Ash had been through was something that had kept Eiji up through many long nights, and it made him feel a level of anger that was extremely rare for him. He didn’t want to think about that now though, he was just eternally grateful that Ash still let him in and trusted him after everything. He wasn’t sure he deserved it, but he was grateful anyway.

He was startled when Ash broke the silence again.  
“Eiji, can you come lie with me?”  
Silence.  
“In the bed with you?”  
Ash laughed. “Yes, in the bed with me.”  
Eiji’s face warmed up. Casual touches, and even hugs, had become more and more common between them throughout the day, but they had never actually shared a bed during the night before. _He might not want me to stay and sleep_ , Eiji reminded himself, but the thought was nice. He never wanted to push Ash, and he loved any interaction that he was comfortable with.

A chill ran up his body as his feet met the icy floor, and Eiji was quick to scurry over to the bed, sitting down on the edge and waiting for Ash to lift the covers before he eased himself down next to him. The familiar scent of wood and citrus that he caught around Ash hit his nose as he looked over at him. The heat surrounded them. They were still for a second, Eiji’s wide brown eyes staring at Ash, before Ash took hold of him and moved them so that he was on his back with Eiji was on top of his chest, his head resting over his heart.

The thump of Ash’s heartbeat under him brought Eiji such a sense of reassurance and safety that he knew that if Ash hadn’t spoken again, he would have fallen asleep in his arms quicker than he ever could have in his own bed, and that he would dread the moment he woke and they would have to move from this exact position. Nothing could hurt him here. Nothing could change the fact that this was perfect. This was meant for him.

“You know I hate that I have to go out everyday. You know I would spend every second with you if I could, whether it was in Japan or in this very room. I would give up the whole gang, the whole thing to be alone with you. I’d do anything to be alone with you like this.”

“I know, Ash.” He felt tears well up in his eyes. Oh, how he wished Ash could be okay. He wanted Ash’s happiness more than he would ever want his own, and yet here Ash was, out risking his life for him every single day. He wanted him to know how much it meant to him.

Ash’s eyes widened as Eiji lifted his head up and shifted himself further up the bed to plant a kiss on his forehead. Ash smiled, and moved to hold Eiji’s face between his hands and kiss him hard on the lips, making Eiji let out a little surprised gasp.

“I’m going to pray to all eight million of your Gods, and thank them for letting us meet,” Ash said.

Eiji’s lips burned where Ash’s own had met them. His ears rang with those words. He had no idea how he was going to tell him that he meant everything to him, and he knew it would take the entirety of this lifetime and the next, but he was going to do it.

But for now, he would lay his head back down on the chest of the boy he loved, and they would fall asleep together. And when they woke, it wouldn’t be for many, many hours, and it would be after many, many dreams of a life where nights like this could happen for years to come.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! This is the first fic I’ve ever posted online, so it means a lot! I hope you enjoyed it! Ash and Eiji are so close to my heart and I hope I did them justice. Hopefully you love them and their bond as much as I do! You can find me on Twitter @/matsu0kaa if you want to see me screaming about asheiji/Banana Fish/anime on the daily, and I hope you have a wonderful day!


End file.
